


Bad Girls

by Ladycat



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: M/M, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-11
Updated: 2014-02-11
Packaged: 2018-01-12 00:00:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1179501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladycat/pseuds/Ladycat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Warning bells were caroling in the back of Xander's head and the blazing guns of righteous revenge -- okay, he needed to stay away from Willow and her 'alliterations are easy!' lectures -- suddenly went out of focus. "Air-brushed?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Girls

"You have a bad-girl fetish." Spike's comment wasn't totally out of the blue -- watching _Tomb Raider_ and noting Xander's not-so subtle reaction was kind of a give away -- but it wasn't anything Xander was expecting, either. Particularly since the leering quality to Spike's voice had less to do with the bouncing boobs of ass-kickery on the screen and more about... well, he didn't know what. That was why it was scary and not sharey.

"Um? Am I supposed to be denying this?" Xander very carefully did not take his eyes away from the screen. For one thing -- good scene. For another, he'd learned that looking at Spike this early in the game gave way too many things away. Not that Xander had much left to be given, since Spike already had all of the really good collector pieces and most of the cheaper ones beside. He pointed at the tv. "Her. Hot."

"Oh, they've all been hot -- well, the ones that I've seen, anyway. Never can tell what's been airbrushed."

Warning bells were caroling in the back of Xander's head and the blazing guns of righteous revenge -- okay, he needed to stay away from Willow and her 'alliterations are easy!' lectures -- suddenly went out of focus. "Air-brushed?"

"She's got the dosh for it, after all," Spike continued. Smugly. Spike continued _smugly_. A very important point that Xander would have preferred not hearing: a smug Spike was a scary -- scari _er_ \-- Spike. "And she's vain enough. Probably spent the last of her fortunes on perfecting her head shots."

Her _what_ shots? Now utterly confused, Xander slowly turned his head so he could see Spike. Yup, there was the smarmy, leering grin that did bad things to Xander's belly when it wasn't making him hold his face on with his palms. There was, also, the shimmering spray of green in pale blue eyes that Xander was far too manly to notice, but always seemed to because it was _his_ shimmering spray of green. It probably had to do with angles and types of lights but Xander had never seen it directed at anybody else -- and he'd checked. Exhaustively.

Spike just chuckled at him, leaning back on the sofa to dare Xander to say anything. Which, eventually, he did. Of course. "Her who huh?"

"Head shots. Pictures you send to casting directors, so you can become internationally famous actresses?"

There was obviously a clue in there, but Xander wasn't getting it. He looked back at Angelina Jolie, kicking ass and taking names with fake knockers bouncing weightlessly on her chest. "Um. I'm thinking Angelina I-can-actually-act- _and_ -make-men-come-in-their-pants-without-silicon-help Jolie doesn't send out head shots. Probably it's more like directors calling her and begging."

Spike gave him the 'you stupid moron' look -- a fixture in the Harris home even when he was home alone and no, he wasn't explaining how that worked -- and sighed. "Not her, you utter berk. I mean -- "

And abruptly, the bells a'warning went still. Xander folded his arms over his chest and leaned back against the other side of the sofa, matching Spike's posture exactly. "Oh?"

Spike's smirk could've cut through steel. "Bit of a fetish for you, innit? I mean, there's at least five I know you were jonesing after -- three you actually got, even, and aren't you the surprising Casanova? -- an' all of them could break you with their pinkie."

Obviously, someone had been telling tales. Someone who had probably been bribed with a fluf-sandwich and the promise of stories she wasn't allowed to hear yet -- Xander would be concerned except he knew exactly how much editing went on in those 'scary' stories. But still. There was the concept of boundaries... "And yet," he said, "none of them could reach the peanut butter on the top shelf. Yes, Spike. The Xand-man, he likes his women to be small and able to break him in half if they feel like it. After Anya, I'm pretty sure this isn't a secret anymore."

Spike nodded at the tv. "She's not smaller'n you."

"Obviously," Xander said, adopting a prim attitude long enough to make Spike relax just a tiny bit. "And you're not a girl."

It was _so_ much fun to pounce Spike when he wasn't expecting it. Of course, clearly he _was_ since this whole thing had been designed to encourage Xander to do the pouncing, but Spike's eyes still went way too wide in his too-big head and arms and legs flopped like he wasn't preternaturally graceful, or something.

Spike actually thought of good plans. He just forget them about halfway through. It usually worked out for him, though.

Fifteen minutes later, both of them tangled up on the floor while Angelina kicked butt unwatched, Xander lifted his head. "You can always ask _me_ instead of Dawn, you know. Despite the long string of rejections and scary women that make up my love-life, I'm not ashamed of it."

Spike's lips were kiss-swollen and red from borrowed heat. "My way's more fun." It wasn't really an answer, but it kind of was. Particularly when Spike did that thing with his tongue that communicated to Xander on just _so_ many levels.

"Point." Xander lost his train of thought for a while, before yanking his head back up again -- ow, okay biting. Mmm, biting. "Hey! No hickeys for work tomorrow! And when have you ever seen Cordelia's head shots which were totally not airbrushed? She'd rather have _died_." He said it the way Mike Meyers said "she'd rather have _plotzed_ ".

Spike chuckled against Xander's neck, fingers doing wicked and distracting things that were all about sex except really, they weren't. "Bit of warning, pet -- don't ever piss off Angel."


End file.
